Our Jackson Journey
I have to start out by saying that if you haven’t read the previous Jackson update maybe go do that first to give you some context about how we were living and what we were going through just a couple short years ago. The emotions I have after reading that back I can't even explain and thinking about how much has changed since that makes me choked up. So go have a read and come right back! I will link it here!
Both of our boys are equally as special and unique and could not be more different in personalities, if you know them you know! Both of them have struggled in different ways and thrived in others and I am so proud to be their mom. If you went back to read through my previous blog, our journey with Jackson and his uniqueness has not been easy, at times it seemed dark and impossible, other times seemed too daunting and scary to think about and also so much joy and excitement. We continue to learn about his comically mature vocabulary and not a day goes by where he doesn’t teach me something new with some tidbit of information he’s read in some book. Jackson is truly a joy and is growing up to be such a compassionate, caring, cuddly, intelligent boy.
Our little guy went through a few very difficult and extreme years, extreme feelings and emotions and extreme meltdowns. We went through years of unpredictability never knowing how he would behave with us or others, we couldn’t leave him with friends or family and we were all emotionally spent. I remember this one memory I have of being mid meltdown the year I was homeschooling and mentally being at my breaking point just sitting on the stairs thinking I had failed. I felt that I had failed as a mom, I screwed everything up and my kid was a result of my mothering capabilities. What else could it be? We had no answers yet, all we knew was his reading level was grades above where he was but I just felt completely lost and hopeless. Being a mom is such a tough job no matter the situation but I had never imagined we would have faced such a dark confusing time.
When Jackson turned six we were finally able to get him assessed to get some sort of answer, nothing that I was ever prepared for. We found out he was highly gifted, and although you may think I’m sitting here bragging about how intelligent my child is, as you’ve already read it comes with a lot of not-so-brag-worthy traits. We have walked through this gifted journey for the last two years and we have learned so much, seen some positives come out of it and have loved watching him grow and learn. However we have also seen a lot of things lacking in the school system resource-wise, communication fell through so we missed the chance to get him applied to the school he needed to be transferred to, etc. Our journey so far has not been easy, to say the least, but thankfully we have had some great support this year for a change and I am finally feeling hopeful that we are heading in a good direction! Also, a direction that brings butterflies to my stomach.
So here begins the update - two years, a global crisis, unpredictable school attendance and one assessment later! Wow, these past couple of years have been HUGE growing years for us, and I mean massive. I can safely say that we are in a totally different state of life than we used to be, dare I say thriving. Life is not perfect, it is filled with uncertainty and some days are tough. I can’t even communicate how different Jackson is just a couple years later and probably for many reasons!
We’ve discovered through one rough ice cream birthday party that Jackson struggles with lactose which was a game-changer once removed! Food allergies can play such a huge part in our bodies and poor kiddos struggle to communicate their feelings on the best of days, we had no idea and it has been an amazing change.
Jackson has had a ton of teacher changes in his short time in public school, he has about as good of luck as I did teacher-wise in school! For some reason, his teachers have both suffered severe injuries resulting in multiple subs and temporary teachers which has taught him how to adjust to change positively. Jackson has not had all perfect days but I can say he has adjusted to being in this social setting and has learned a lot of life lessons as a gifted student surrounded by other kids of all kinds and levels. Jackson is extreme on so many points but definitely is off-balance socially which can cause moments of impatience and confusion but we have continued to work on these with his teacher and with friends and hope this next year will continue to help him learn.
We got Jackson reassessed about a month ago and received the report just a few days ago and STILL, I am adjusting and taking all the overwhelming information in. Thankfully this is probably the last time we ever have to get him assessed as it should not change by much as he gets older. Again for privacy reasons, we won't be disclosing the results but again he was in the 90 percentile for most things and is reading at a grade 12.9 level (he’s currently in grade four). So again, overwhelming information but this isn’t the only information this time, he also was assessed for behaviour this round which was a little nerve-wracking on my end. It’s really hard to sit down and rate your own child with behaviours and not feel a little strange to be completely honest. Myself, my husband and Jackson’s teacher had to rate his different behaviours and actions based on what we see which made me sick to my stomach as these results could change his school applications etc. Being completely honest and realistic we ended up finding he is quite behind in the social aspect of his life which is not abnormal for children with his scores.
All of that said, we now enter a whole different chapter!
If you have made it this far and are following our journey, here is what we are facing next! We have two publicly funded schools here that are focused on gifted kids and have programs based around kids with their strengths and weaknesses. One we apply for and only accepts 6-8 kids per year between grade five and twelve so very difficult to get in! We got on the waitlist last year but did not quite make the cut. This school is in a very different area than we live and would require a move as this Vancouverite mama is not a snow driver and it is about 25 minutes from our current home. It is in a very inner city area which is not my cup of tea, this option is possible but kind of makes me sick to think about all the changes that would need to be made.
The other school option is applied to through the principal of his current school (the one we missed out on last year…) and is completely out of our hands. We have sent his new report to the school and now we wait. This school would also require a move for the same reasons but if we got a home in that same area Maddox would be able to attend this school as well which is a huge bonus! This is an older area which would probably require us to purchase an older home that needs lots of updates. We just finished renovating our entire home so this is not appealing - but who doesn’t love following our home updates on Instagram? Right hubby?
We are now in a season of waiting, and this is the season I wasn’t looking so forward to. I am not excited about the possibility of moving but there is nothing more important than my kids and having them in the best place possible for THEM. We have gone through a lot to have the answers we have and be where we are now and this journey is not over! We have made sacrifices along the way and have had a bit of a different family dynamic than many other families and I am completely ok with that, what's another? My prayer is that we find a school/home/environment that both our kids just thrive in and these next few months will be huge for our family. If you’ve made it here, I hope you keep us in your prayers (or just cross your toes and fingers), I know everything will work out as it should in the end, I just might need an extra glass of wine or two in the meantime!
I will keep updating as we go along on my Instagram and I hope you found this helpful if you also have a situation similar to this. I started writing about our journey because in my dark days I felt so lost and alone. Really, there is not enough information and resources out there about gifted kids or even a safe place to just talk about difficult times for mamas. If you ever need someone to chat with I’m your gal! Also, if you have any questions comment below and stay tuned for the next update!
xoxo